top ten negotiating tips

  1. Be prepared in advance
  2. Identify your interests
  3. Articulate clear, achievable goals
  4. Imagine yourself in the other person's place
  5. Focus on solutions, not on problems
  6. Be open to new ideas
  7. Listen patiently without interruption
  8. Take notes instead of interrupting
  9. Ask questions rather than making points
  10. Always keep track of ATNAs (alternatives to a negotiated agreement)

Bonus Tip! Get help from an expert. A neutral third party can help you reach the best possible resolution.

negotiation wisdom from ancient china

2500 years ago Sun Tzu wrote in The Art Of War that there were three things that every general needed to know. He said:

  1. Know yourself (Understand your own needs, interests, and goals)
  2. Know who you are dealing with (Understand the needs, interests, and goals of the other parties)
  3. Know the terrain (Understand the context of your situation, and the alternatives available)

Three Alternatives to A negotiated Settlement

There are always (at least) three alternatives to negotiating a mutually agreeable settlement. These alternatives apply whether the negotiating is about a major business contract, or about what time to make dinner reservations!

  1. BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)
  2. WATNA (Worst Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)
  3. MLATNA (Most Likely Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)

Three Primary Motivators

People are motivated by three fundamental needs. These three needs apply to every person, but the balance between them is infinitely variable.

  1. Security Needs (food, shelter, safety, finances, etc.)
  2. Status Needs (respect from peers, social standing, recognition)
  3. Stimulation Needs (meaningful work, keeping busy, excitement)

Comparison of Allan Revich 3 Fundamental Needs Model with Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs

These three needs relate to the well-known hierarchy of needs described by Abraham Maslow. The tool that I currently employ to help clients understand the fundamentals of their personality is the Meyer-Briggs Personality Inventory (MBTI).

Five Basic Negotiation Modes

People use five basic behavioural modes to negotiate with one another. Most people exhibit a preference for one mode, but we often use different modes for different circumstances. The five basic modes are:

  1. Avoiding
  2. Accommodating
  3. Competing
  4. Compromising
  5. Collaborating

The graphic below illustrates the 5 modes in relation to the degree of assertiveness and competitiveness.

5 Modes of Conflict

The Collaborating Mode is generally preferred, and is the mode most likely to result in win-win outcomes. However, expert negotiators are adept at using all five modes. Each of the five basic modes has advantages and disadvantages depending on context.

You can learn your own preferred mode from the the highly respected Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) that I use in my coaching practice, and learn how to adjust your preferred mode to achieve your goals.

The Goal Focused Action Cycle

I designed the Goal Focused Action Cycle as a practical tool for goal attainment. It forms an integral part of The Goal Focused Way. The Goal Focused Action Cycle can be applied to negotiating, conflict management, workplace issues, and to personal development.

Realistically achievable (but ambitious) goals are set by reflecting on past events, and upon needs and interests. Once a goal is set, it is important to plan the steps required to achieve it. Planning requires us to generate options, look at alternatives, and needs to occur before acting. Once planning is complete the next step must be taken, and once action is taken, it again becomes necessary to reflect upon the consequences of the action. The cycle continues until the desired goals are reached.

Reflective Action Cycle (copyright, Allan Revich)

Are you mired in a business or personal dispute, attempting to resolve a conflict between employees in your organization, or looking for a neutral mediator? I have the skills, education, and hard-won experience to help you. Why not take the next step?

Mediation and consulting services are offered by Allan Revich, principal of The Goal Focused Way. Contact me, Allan Revich, by phone at 416.670.6727 or by email at allan@goalfocused.com to discuss some of the possible solutions that I can offer you and your organization.